


Sea of Love

by CoolDadV



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Lost Memory, M/M, Memory Loss, Mentioned Hinata Shouyou, Mentioned Miya Atsumu, Post-Time Skip, Praise Kink, Temporary Amnesia, mentioned sakusa kiyoomi, no beta we die like men, no smut until final chapter, the lost memory fic no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27737629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoolDadV/pseuds/CoolDadV
Summary: Bokuto forgets 5 years of his life after a terrible accident. He remembers who people are, just not what they mean to him now. Which means he’s forgotten about his and Akaashi’s wedding just two weeks ago. Will Bokuto remember who Akaashi really is to him? Or will he only remember him as his setter?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 15
Kudos: 213





	1. "Do you remember when we met?"

“Is he moving?! I think he’s waking up! NURSE!!”

Bokuto stirred. His mind felt heavy and he didn’t know where he was. _Why is there so much yelling_ , he thought.

Turning to his right, he looked into the eyes of a beautiful, bespeckled man. But why did he look so worried? Bokuto suddenly felt like fighting whatever was making this man upset.

“Koutarou? Can you hear me?”

_He knows my given name?!_

“Who are you?”

Suddenly, all the noise and rushing around him seemed to stop. The man looked like he’d been slapped.

“Bo? Do you...do you not know who this is?”

Another voice spoke and Bokuto turned to see a much taller man with wild hair.

“Should I? Who are you? Am I in the hospital?”

Both men shared a look and now Bokuto started to panic. Who were these two, if not doctors? Did he know them? Why couldn’t he remember them?

The heart monitor next to him started beeping wildly. He heard another voice tell the two men they needed to leave, but everything felt muffled and far away. He started breathing heavily and his vision started to blur around the edges.

“Who are you? Why am I here? What happened?”

That was the last thing he said before he blacked out.

___________________________________

Bokuto woke up again, but this time he knew he was in the hospital. He still didn’t know why he was there, but at least now he wasn’t panicking.

He looked around the sunlit room, wondering where those two men from earlier went. Suddenly, he heard the door open.

“Oh good! You’re awake. How are you feeling now, Bokuto-san?”

The woman speaking to him wore a long white coat, so he could only assume she was his doctor. Her voice reminded him of his older sister, so he couldn’t help but feel comforted.

Bokuto slowly sat up in his bed to stretch as much as he could. “My brain feels heavy. Why am I here? And who are you?” Quickly, he added, “Sorry if that sounded rude. I’m just a bit confused.”

The doctor was checking the machines next to Bokuto, but turned to him to smile. “No need to apologize. My name is Doctor Takeuchi, but you can just call me Haruka. You got into a fairly bad accident a few days ago. Can you tell me the last thing you remember?”

Bokuto kept thinking, but he couldn’t remember a thing. He scrunched his face in frustration. “No. Everything’s just...black.”

Haruka nodded her head. “It’s common for patients to not remember recent memories for a while. Okay, well, what can you tell me about yourself?”

Bokuto took a deep breath and tried to think of what he could tell her. Suddenly his face lit up.

“I love volleyball! I play all the time and my teammates are amazing! I’m hoping to go pro after I graduate.”

Haruka smiled, but Bokuto noticed a quick flash of sadness in her eyes. “Yes, I’ve heard you're very good at volleyball. I wish I could fill you in on more details, but I think it’s best coming from someone you trust.” Bokuto wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but he just nodded before she continued. “Well, what I can tell you now is that you were in a bad accident on your way home. The train station was doing some maintenance on a line, but something went wrong. The train car they were testing derailed onto the platform. From what I’m told, there was a mom and her daughter near the line, and you ran to shield them from the debris. No one else was injured, but you were knocked unconscious from a large piece of scrap metal. Thankfully, the mom and daughter are safe because of you. You’re quite the hero, Bokuto-san.”

He tried to take in all the information he could. Him? A hero? Bokuto thinks he would normally feel a sense of pride for doing something like that. Not just because he’s proud of himself, but he gets the feeling there’s someone who’d be proud for him. Suddenly, he remembered the two men from earlier.

Bokuto quickly turned his head towards Haruka. “Kuroo! Akaashi! They were here earlier. Are they still around?”

Haruka’s eyes lit up, “Yes. Would you like to see them?

Bokuto nodded and Haruka went to open the door, talking softly to someone on the other side.

Kuroo walked in first with Akaashi trailing behind him. Bokuto was so excited to see them, but something about them felt different. Once Kuroo was next to him, he realized why.

“Kuroo! Why are you wearing a suit? You look...older. And Akaashi, when did you start wearing glasses?”

Both men looked at one another, the small smile that was on Kuroo’s face slipped. He turned to Haruka.

“Does he know?” _Do I know what?_

“No, I felt like this would be easier coming from people he trusts,” Haruka said gently. _Tell me what?_

Kuroo turned back to Bokuto. The smile was back on his lips, but Bokuto noticed it didn’t reach his eyes. “Bo...can I ask you something?”

“Of course! You’re my best bro, you know you can ask me anything.”

Kuroo let out a soft laugh before asking, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Bokuto was silent. He tried to think harder this time. Now that he had his two best friends, his memory started to come back more.

“Nationals. I remember we were at Nationals. I remember watching your game with those crows, but I can’t remember anything after.” His eyes snapped towards Haruka. “Was that why I was at the train station? Was the rest of the team there?”

The other three looked at one another again, exchanging meaningful looks that Bokuto wanted to ask about. Before he could, Haruka spoke. “I think I’ll leave the three of you to talk some more.” And with that, she left.

Bokuto looked at the other two in confusion. Akaashi still hadn’t spoken and Bokuto realized, “Akaashi? Why haven’t you spoken? Is everything okay?”

Akaashi looked at him for the first time since walking in. Locking eyes, Bokuto momentarily forgot how to breathe. _When did he get those glasses? Why does he have to look good in everything he wears?_

Kuroo cleared his throat, pulling up one of the hospital chairs next to Bokuto’s bed. Bokuto finally turned his attention towards him, but something didn’t feel right about Akaashi not having said anything to him since walking in.

“Bo. I need to tell you something, but you need to promise not to...freak out too much. It’s going to be a lot to handle, but it’s important you know.”

“Kuroo-san, is this really the right time to tell him.” Akaashi finally spoke. Bokuto’s heart started to quicken at the sound of Akaashi’s voice, but there was also a pang of jealousy. _Why hasn’t he talked to me yet? What’s happening?_

Kuroo briefly turned to the other man. “We have to, Akaashi. You know, like that one English saying goes. We have to rip it off like a wax strip.”

Akaashi huffed. “Band Aid, Kuroo-san.”

“You know what I meant,” he turned back to Bokuto. “Bo. You think we were just at Nationals? Right?”

This time Bokuto’s heart started beating hard for a completely different reason.

“Is that not...where we were? How much time has passed? A week? A month?”

Kuroo looked at him, he let out a sigh and hesitated before saying, “Bo, Nationals was 5 years ago.”

Bokuto’s heart stopped for a split second before it started slamming against his chest. He began hyperventilating, his ears ringing. Suddenly he felt two arms around him, but from the other side of the bed. A comforting scent filled his nose and he immediately started calming down. He closed his eyes as he clutched the arm across his chest, the one that wasn’t caressing his hair now.

Once he calmed down, he looked up at Akaashi. He was taken aback by how comforting all of that felt, as if they’d been doing it for years. _Is that...possible?_

“Akaashi…” he starts, but before he could finish, the other man started pulling away suddenly. A flash of silver caught Bokuto’s eye and he grabbed Akaashi’s hand.

“What’s this? Akaashi...are you married?” He looked up in disbelief at his friend, but the other man couldn’t look him in the eyes. A flash of pain goes across his face before he’s back to his usual stoic expression.

“Yes, Kou— I mean. Bokuto-san. Yes, I’m married.”

There’s a pain deep inside Bokuto’s chest, an uncomfortable twist in his stomach. He’d always had a crush on Akaashi. He was so beautiful and always knew what to say to him; always knew how to comfort Bokuto. But beyond that, he felt like they made a good team. They balanced each other out on the court, but off the court as well. Bokuto remembers a time when Akaashi came over for dinner and how well he’d gotten along with Bokuto’s sisters. Sitting across from him at the dinner table, watching Akaashi laugh at his sister's jokes, the way it seemed like Akaashi belonged there; that was the final moment before Bokuto realized he'd truly fallen in love with Akaashi. _Did I never confess to him? Did he reject me?_

In a sudden fit of frustration he asked a bit too loudly, “Who are they? Who are you married to?” Even he realized he sounded upset, but he needed to know. What can’t he remember from these 5 years?

Bokuto watched as Akaashi and Kuroo exchanged a look and that uncomfortable twist in his stomach became a branding knife. _It can’t be._

He whipped his head towards Kuroo. “YOU?!”

“NO!” Both the other men screamed in unison.

“Bo, how could you possibly think that?!”

“Bokuto-san, I would never marry Kuroo-san.”

“Hey!”

Bokuto calmed down immediately, even enjoying the light teasing between his two friends. But he quickly remembered the topic at hand. “Wait. If it’s not Kuroo, then who? Was it...was it someone you went to college with? Have I met them yet? Do I approve?”

“Bokuto-san, please. You’re asking too many questions.” Akaashi lets out an exasperated sigh, but Bokuto quieted down and waited patiently. Finally, Akaashi looked at Bokuto, his eyes softening. Bokuto felt time stand still for just a moment before—

“It’s you, Bokuto-san.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know your thoughts. And forgive me if this takes some time to update, I'm having some writers block on the next chapter (though I have the last two written, so it'll update quickly afterwards). But if you want to come yell with me about anime in the meantime, my Twitter is [CoolDadV!](https://www.twitter.com/CoolDadV)


	2. "That's the day I knew you were my pet"

“Me?” Bokuto couldn’t process what he heard. _Akaashi and I are...married?_ A flood of emotions overpowered him, but before he could ask more questions, Haruka walked back in.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but unless you’re staying the night, visiting hours are over. I also think it’s time for Bokuto-san to rest.”

Bokuto started to panic again. “No! Wait! I need to hear more. I need to—”

Haruka came over and placed a comforting hand on Bokuto’s leg. The warmth and understanding in her eyes, again, reminded Bokuto of his oldest sister. He immediately calmed down, but also shot a questioning look at Akaashi.

“Will you stay? Can you...can you stay with me tonight?”

Akaashi’s eyes glossed over with tears, but he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Bokuto-san. I have to get things ready for you back home.” His voice dipped slightly at the end, as if he was suddenly shy that they shared a home together. “But I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll be discharged if all the tests are okay.”

Now Bokuto turned to Harkua. “Will I be able to go home tomorrow?” He felt his face grow warm. _Home. With Akaashi. My...husband._

Harkua nodded. “Just like Akaashi-san said, if everything comes back clear, you’re free to go home. I think it would be good to have you surrounded by a familiar environment and people. That will hopefully help with regaining your memories.”

Bokuto knew everything they were saying made sense, but he still didn’t want to be away from Akaashi. Not now. Not now that he’s learned they’re married. _Maybe this is a dream? How could Akaashi have married me?_

He must have said that out loud because when he looked up, he noticed Akaashi blushing and Kuroo trying to contain his chuckle. Then he felt a hand on his and looked at Akaashi again.

“This isn’t a dream, Bokuto-san. We’ll figure everything out. I took some time off work and…” He paused, squeezing Bokuto’s hand. “We’ll get through this like we’ve done with everything else in our life. Together.”

Bokuto broke out into a huge grin for the first time. “Okay. Together,” he said as he squeezed Akaashi’s hand back.

___________________________________

Bokuto was discharged the next day and Akaashi was there, just like he had promised. The ride to their apartment was mostly quiet, except for Bokuto recalling some memories from high school. “Akaashi! Remember when we got caught in that rain storm one Saturday? We went to eat at that late-night restaurant and you didn’t trust the way the place looked. But then afterwards you said the _nanohana no karashiae_ was the best you’ve ever had!”

“Yes. I remember, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi quietly replied, but Bokuto also noticed the small smile on his lips. He wanted to reach over and touch him, but thought maybe that would be too forward. _You’re married to him_ , he reminded himself. But he just shook his head. It still didn’t feel real yet.

When they finally arrived at their place, Bokuto noticed all the boxes in their living room. “Did we just move in? Why aren’t things unpacked?” He walked towards one of the boxes with his name on it and tried opening it, but Akaashi placed his hand firmly on the top.

“We just moved into this place after we...after our wedding.” He quickly ducked his head, but not before Bokuto saw the light dust of pink on his cheeks. “We planned on doing all this together. But first let’s rest and eat something. I don’t want to overwhelm you with—”

Bokuto placed his hand on top of Akaashi’s, stopping him from rambling. “Akaashi. I want to go through these. We don’t have to go quickly but I—,” now it was Bokuto’s turn to look away as his face grew warm. “I want to remember my life. Especially my life with you.”

They stood there quietly for a few moments before Akaashi sighed. “Okay, Bokuto-san. Let me get us some water and we can start unpacking.”

They spent the afternoon sorting through a few boxes. Akaashi suggested they at least put the rest of their clothes away and more essential items. They had all week to sort through more sentimental stuff and Akaashi wanted to give Bokuto time to adjust. When Bokuto came across his MSBY jersey, however, a few things started to click.

“I play for MSBY!” Bokuto beamed proudly. “I’m one of their wing spikers! With...with Tsum-Tsum and Sakusa! And Hinata-kun!”

Akaashi looked at him with a shocked expression on his face before his eyes started to tear up. “Yes. Yes you do, Bokuto-san. I can’t believe you’re already remembering your team.” Bokuto noticed he sounded breathless and maybe a little jealous, but mostly relieved. He could understand why. He was remembering his teammates, but not him.

“Are you...sad? That I haven’t—,” but Akaashi cut him off.

“No. I’m just surprised it happened so quickly. But Haruka-sama said there was no telling what memories would come back first and what would trigger them.” Akaashi walked over to Bokuto and placed a comforting hand on his arm, a gentle smile spreading across his face. “I’m glad you’re remembering, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto beamed down at him again. If he was remembering people like his teammates, surely he’d remember Akaashi soon too.

As night fell, they stopped unpacking to eat dinner. This was when Akaashi started telling him small things about their lives. How he worked in Tokyo and Bokuto has been in Osaka this whole time, but that Akaashi was able to renegotiate his contract to work mostly from home. How they’ve been long distance, but they always found time for each other. He also learned that they just got married two weeks ago, on the same day they first got together, so they could always celebrate one big anniversary. Bokuto was happy to learn these things. He was a little frustrated that he couldn’t remember them himself, but he knew he would. He knew he had to. As they cleaned up, Bokuto realized the next thing to do was get ready for bed. He started to feel nervous about what that meant. But when they walked into their bedroom, Akaashi grabbed his pillow and an extra blanket.

“Akaashi? Where are you going?”

Akaashi paused in the middle of the room, Bokuto still standing in the doorway.

“I think it might be best if I slept on the couch for a while,” Bokuto could see Akaashi was fiddling with his hands under the blanket he was holding. “We might be married and have been together the past 4 years, but you don’t remember that yet. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He looked down as he said the last sentence, like he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Except the thing he “wasn't supposed to be doing” was being with Bokuto.

Before Bokuto knew what he was doing, he quickly closed the distance between them. He gently took the blanket and pillow from Akaashi, setting them down before taking his hands into his own. He heard Akaashi quietly gasp as he looked up at Bokuto.

“Akaashi. The doctors said it would be best if I kept the same routine I normally would to help me remember. And since I have you, you can help me stick to that routine. Wouldn’t that include sleeping in the same bed?” He looked into Akaashi’s eyes, hoping they didn’t look desperate for him to stay. This might’ve been his partner of 4 years, but according to his memory, this is Akaashi. The boy he’s had a crush on since the first day he set for him. He couldn’t not seize the opportunity to share a bed with this beautiful man. Quietly, he added, “I won’t force you to stay. But I’d really like it if you did.”

Akaashi let out a long breath, before intertwining their hands together. “Okay, Bokuto-san. I’ll stay.”

They got ready for bed, Akaashi reminding Bokuto of small things here and there. “No Bokuto-san. We switched the toothpaste because this is better for you,” and, “You prefer sleeping without socks now, otherwise you get too hot in the middle of the night and kick off all the blankets.” It was these small things that showed Bokuto just how much of his life was intertwined with Akaashi’s.

When they finally got to bed, Bokuto went to the right side and started climbing in, but noticed Akaashi was standing still on the other side.

“Oh! Was this wrong? Are you usually on this side?” Bokuto started getting up again but Akaashi stopped him.

“No! You were right. That’s...yes that’s your side of the bed. I was just shocked that you somehow knew.” Hope bloomed in Bokuto’s chest. Maybe he was slowly starting to remember. Or maybe his body knew things before his memory did, so he just acted on instinct. Whatever it was, Bokuto was grateful for it.

However, once they both settled in bed, Bokuto couldn’t help but sense the overwhelming awkwardness that grew between them. “Is this how we normally sleep? Just...side by side like this?” He heard Akaashi give a small huff, an almost-laugh at the situation.

“No Bokuto-san, this isn’t how we usually sleep.”

Bokuto felt his mouth go dry before saying, “So, how would we normally sleep.” He couldn’t help the small crack in his voice at the end. Bokuto turned his face towards Akaashi as the other man did the same. They held each other's gaze for longer than would probably be comfortable before Akaashi moved. He grabbed Bokuto’s arm and placed it around him, laying his head on Bokuto’s chest as he wrapped his own arm around Bokuto’s torso.

“We usually sleep like this,” he whispered quietly, as if talking any louder would break some sort of spell around them. Bokuto could feel his face flush, but he reminded himself to relax. He didn’t want to scare Akaashi away, especially since he was the one who wanted this. He adjusted his arm so it was more comfortable and, ever so gently, he nuzzled the top of Akaashi’s head.

“Okay. I could get used to this,” Bokuto whispered back. They laid like this for a while until Bokuto could feel Akaashi get heavy with sleep and heard the lightest snore from the man wrapped in his arms.

“Please, let me remember you fully. Let me love you like you should be loved,” he said before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting! I should update this fairly quickly because I have most of the next chapter already written. Hope everyone's enjoying the story so far! Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
> 
> Also feel like I should add a disclaimer that I know nothing about memory loss, so all of this is completely fictional. Please don't take what I'm saying as fact because I'm definitely not a medical professional.


	3. "I wanna tell you how much I love you"

A few weeks had gone by. Bokuto remembered his team, remembered moments with Kuroo, even remembered small things like his new favorite places to eat. But somehow, he hadn’t remembered Akaashi yet.

Akaashi said it was okay. That these things took time. He worked from home now, so he’d be there to help Bokuto sort through any memories that came back while he was away. But Bokuto could see how much distress everything was causing him. He noticed the bags under his eyes and the increased caffeine intake. He thought about this all the way home from practice. It didn’t feel quite right to go back, but the doctors reminded him that routine was key to helping regain his memory. That included going to practice and spending time away from Akaashi.

“Akaashi! I’m home!” Bokuto took off his shoes and made his way to the kitchen with the take-out he brought home. It was Friday night and Akaashi said this was their usual date night, so he picked up their favorite.

Akaashi emerged from his home office, looking more tired than when Bokuto left him this morning.

“Thank you for getting dinner, Bokuto-san.” He grabbed Bokuto’s hand and squeezed it before picking up his take-out box. Akaashi said they shouldn’t get too physical until Bokuto’s memories came back, so they agreed hand holding and cuddling in bed were enough. But when they made that agreement, they didn’t realize just how long they’d have to wait.

“How was work? Is Udai-san done yet?” As soon as Bokuto finished his question, he felt the room go still. Akaashi set his take-out box down as he looked at Bokuto.

“You remember who Udai-san is?” Akaashi told Bokuto he was a manga editor, but he never mentioned Udai in the brief moments where they talked about work.

Bokuto felt his hands grow cold. He knew what he said wasn’t wrong, but he also understood why Akaashi asked that question with so much ice in his voice. Quietly, he replied, “Yes. I guess I do.”

Bokuto watched as Akaashi’s face crumbled. 

“A month, Bokuto-san. It’s been a month. You’ve remembered everyone else, even brand new teammates you met barely a year ago.” He looked at Bokuto briefly and then looked back down. “I’m your husband.” He sniffled, tears flowing down his face. Bokuto’s chest ached, but he didn’t know how to comfort him. He frustratingly watched as the man he was supposed to protect broke down in front of him.

“I’ve tried to be strong. I’ve tried to be patient and understanding. But all I want is to be held by you at night. I want you to remember the names you would call me. I want us to talk about old memories and laugh together again. I want to kiss you and be wrapped up in you.” He took a shuddering breath, hugging his arms around himself.

Bokuto wanted nothing more than to be the one to comfort him. His heart yearned to reach out and touch him, but something inside him said that he shouldn’t. “Akaashi, I’m sor—”

Akaashi cut him off, holding up his hands. “Please. Please don’t. I know none of this is your fault. I know you’re trying.” He started wringing his hands together. _Just like when we were in high school,_ Bokuto thought fondly. Though he knew that meant Akaashi was feeling self conscious.

“I never knew how you could love me,” Akaashi said quietly. Bokuto’s heart started beating fast. _No, please don’t say this_ , he thought. He licked his lips before speaking. “What do you mean?”

Akaashi finally looked at him, eyes red but no longer crying. “Bokuto-san. I never figured out how you could love someone like me. I’m too quiet, sometimes too reserved for people’s comfort. I’m a failure. I’m working in a field I’m barely happy in that causes more stress than reward. Sometimes I don't always know the right things to say, overthinking everything, until I decide to not say anything at all. We worked in two different cities and somehow you wanted to make things work. You wanted to stay together. It’s one of the few illogical things I went along with because I love you so much.” He let out a breath, closing his eyes to recollect his thoughts. Somehow, Bokuto knew not to interrupt him, no matter how much he wanted to tell him he was wrong.

“I’ve never felt good enough for you. You make me feel so loved and cared for. Like maybe I deserve the love you give me. But I’ve always felt like you deserve someone better. Someone who could light up a room just as much as you can. Everyone can’t help but adore you and cheer you on. You walk into a room and instantly know how to bring people together.” Akaashi finally opened his eyes, but didn’t look back up at Bokuto. “You’re a star, Koutarou.”

Bokuto’s breath caught in his throat at the use of his given name. He leaned forward, a deep need inside him wanting to hold the man in front of him. But Akaashi let out a small gasp as he moved just slightly away.

Akaashi quietly added, “I think...maybe this was all meant to be. Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn’t be with you anymore. Maybe I was never meant to keep you.”

“No!” Bokuto almost shouted, making both of them flinch. They looked at each other, a shocked expression on both of their faces. He tried again, softly this time. “No. Please don’t say that. Please don’t leave me, Akaashi.”

A fresh stream of tears started going down Akaashi’s face. “I’ll never truly leave you, Bokuto-san.” He softly took hold of Bokuto’s hand, thumb gently caressing his knuckles. Bokuto’s breath became shallow. “I think I should go for a walk. I just need to clear my head.” Akaashi tentatively brought the other man’s hand to his lips and gently kissed it. Bokuto forgot how to breathe. “I promise I’ll come back.”

With that, he let go of Bokuto’s hand and walked towards the door. It took everything inside Bokuto not to run after him and make him stay. As if reading his mind, Akaashi turned around. “I’ll be back soon, Bokuto-san. Please don’t worry too much.” And then he left.

Something inside Bokuto snapped. Once he stopped hearing Akaashi’s footsteps, he walked to the living room and slumped down next to the last of the boxes they had to unpack. He grabbed the closest pillow and screamed as loud as he could. He couldn’t help but be angry with himself. Something deep within him knew he loved Akaashi. It broke his heart thinking about the way Akaashi talked about himself. But what could he say when he couldn’t even remember why he loved him either?

He looked at the last few boxes they had left. Akaashi said they should keep them for last since most of them had pictures and memories of their life together. They had gone through some of the photos before, but they never seemed to find the energy to actually go through them. Something inside both of them felt like, if they went through everything and Bokuto still couldn’t remember, that would be the final straw. Neither of them had wanted to confront that possibility.

But for Bokuto, this was the final straw. He needed to find a way to remember Akaashi. His whole body told him he couldn’t lose him.

He began unpacking the first box, but it was filled with the pictures he’d already seen, so he turned his attention to the last box. It was much heavier and when he opened it, he saw two identical wooden boxes inside. One had his name and one had Akaashi’s. He noticed that the one with Akaashi’s name was written in his handwriting, so he picked up that one first.

It was no larger than a shoe box, but it was heavy with the contents inside. The box clearly had been opened frequently from the worn out spots where hands would have touched it. When Bokuto opened the box, he let out a small gasp. It was filled with pictures, letters, mementos, and small trinkets. He reverently took out some of the items, not wanting to crumple or harm anything in the process. There were ticket stubs from movies or parks he assumed he’d been to. He noticed there were handwritten letters addressed to him from Akaashi. He desperately wanted to begin reading them, but something else caught his eye.

He noticed a small black box with a date written in gold on the top. He realized the date was only about a month and a half ago. _Our wedding_ , he thought. Carefully, he opened the box to reveal a folded up sheet of paper along with some dried flowers. Bokuto gently opened the paper and realized they were his wedding vows. He suddenly felt like he was intruding on something private, until he reminded himself that these were his memories. He began reading the vows.

_Keiji, my heart. You know I’ve never been good with words, but I’m going to try and say just how much you mean to me. Everywhere I went, I never felt like I quite belonged. Others always left me on my own when things got rough, saying I was “too much” for them to handle. I started to feel like maybe I wasn’t worth anyone’s time. That no one would care about me. But then you came into my life and changed it all. You were the first person who stuck by my side and something inside of me said you would never leave me like the others did. I knew I could always go to you and never feel judged or casted aside. Even through that beautiful “cold” exterior, I knew you cared. You were the first person to make me feel like I belong. You were the first person to make me feel like I was finally home. No matter where we go or how far away we are from one another, you are my home, Keiji. You are my world. I love you._

Bokuto had to remind himself to breathe. His heart beat started to quicken and he felt like he was hyperventilating. Suddenly small, quick images started to rush through his mind. He remembered the first time they confessed to one another; heart beating as quickly as it was now and a rush of relief. Then he remembered what it felt like to taste Akaashi’s lips for the first time, how they were both nervous but couldn’t stop touching one another. He remembered how Akaashi’s body felt under his own, sweat slicked bodies and the way Akaashi moaned his name. He remembered arguments, the crying, the making up. He started crying himself when he remembered the day he proposed to Akaashi. He somehow found a perfect moment under the cherry blossoms after a disaster of a day where everything went wrong. Tears started flowing freely when he remembered what it was like to see Akaashi walking down the aisle on their wedding day. He was so beautiful and Bokuto couldn’t believe this man was about to be by his side forever.

Bokutou quickly and carefully put the paper back in its box, not wanting to ruin it. He began shaking and he couldn’t stop his tears. He folded his knees to his chest and held himself on the floor. He didn’t know how much time had passed until he heard the front door open.

“Bokuto-san!”

Akaashi rushed over to him, quickly closing the door and throwing his shoes off. He instinctively slipped his arm around Bokuto’s shoulders. Bokuto immediately looked at Akaashi, new tears forming as he went to hold his husband’s face in his hands. Akaashi gasped, but one look into Bokuto’s eyes told him to not move away.

“Kou...Koutarou?” Akaashi said, with just the slightest hope in his voice.

Bokuto broke out into a huge smile, caressing Akaashi’s cheeks with his thumbs. “Keiji. I remember. I’m so sorry I made you wait. My world, I love you.”

Now it was Akaashi’s turn to start crying. He let out a breathy laugh as his eyes started to water. Bokuto carefully took off Akaashi’s glasses and began placing gentle kisses all over his face. Akaashi’s breath hitched in his throat and his tears stopped from the shock.

Bokuto pulled away, just enough to look into Akaashi’s eyes. Without speaking, they both closed the gap once again, lips meeting each other. An electric spark zipped down Bokuto’s spine. It felt like they were kissing for the first time, but with the echoes of previous kisses singing in his mind.

He moved his hands down to grab Akaashi’s waist and pull him into his lap. Akaashi obliged, placing his legs on either side of Bokuto’s thighs. They continued to kiss and laugh and explore one another until their lips were chapped and they were left panting.

Bokuto was the first to break the silence, pulling his forehead away from Akaashi’s. “You’re everything to me, Keiji. That’s why I love you so much. You make me feel like I’m home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Two updates in one night. Also, this concludes any rated T content, as the next chapter will just be some sweet little smut. Hope you've enjoyed the journey!


	4. "Come with me, my love"

They continued to kiss on the floor until Bokuto got up, wrapping Akaashi’s legs around his waist as he did so. Akaashi gave a small yelp.

“I think it’s time we made up for lost time, Keiji. Don’t you think so?”

Bokuto carried Akaashi to their bedroom, while the other man looked at Bokuto with a shocked expression on his face.

“Do you think this is a good idea? You just remembered me, you can’t possibly be ready for this yet.”

Bokuto let out a deep chuckle from within his chest, knowing exactly what that did to his husband.

“Keiji,” he whispered into his lover’s neck. “My love, even when I couldn’t remember everything, I knew that my body responded to your touch. Even if  _ I _ couldn’t remember, my body did. And now that I’ve caught up,” he sat on their bed, caging Akaashi in his arms, “there’s nothing more I’d rather do right now than worship you.”

He looked into his husband’s eyes that had quickly blown wide and then started kissing him again. If the tightness of their jeans was any indication, they were both feeling the same way. Bokuto moved down to Akaashi’s neck and lightly bit down on the spot he knew made his knees weak.

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi gasped. Bokuto let out a low growl at that.

“Now now, Keiji. That’s not the name you usually use.” Suddenly he flipped them around so Akaashi lay on his back, Bokuto leaning over him. “Let’s try that again, shall we?”

He slowly leaned in, reveling in the sound of his husband's breath getting quicker. He bit down on the same spot again, this time gently adding pressure with his knee in between Akaashi’s legs.

“Koutarou,” the man below him groaned out.

Bokuto smiled into his neck. “Good boy.”

They began taking their clothes off, but stayed connected the entire time. Bokuto’s lips exploring Akaashi’s face, neck, and shoulders. Akaashi’s hands never leaving Bokuto’s torso or thighs.

Once they were naked, Bokuto started stroking Akaashi’s length while kissing his chest. He took one of his lover’s nipples into his mouth, looking up into his eyes. Akaashi’s panting encouraged Bokuto enough to bite down, making his husband throw back his head as he let out a long moan.

After licking the newly sore spot, he moved onto the other side, repeating the same process. One of Akaashi’s hands found its way into Bokuto’s hair, gently gripping it just the way he liked.

“Keiji, you’re so beautiful,” Bokuto whispered as he continued to stroke his husband. Akaashi looked into his eyes again, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“I missed you, Koutarou,” he whispered back. Bokuto moved back up to his lips, kissing his husband.

“I missed you too, Keiji,” he said as he pulled away. He reached over to the nightstand, opening the top drawer to take out the lube he knew would be there.

He poured some onto his fingers, warming it up, before entering his first digit into Akaashi.

Akaashi let out a soft groan, years of experience allowing his body to relax into his husband’s touch.

Soon Bokuto entered a second finger and slowly began stretching Akaashi open until he could comfortably fit three. He leaned down again to kiss his lover. 

Bokuto broke their kiss, but kept their lips close together as he asked, “Ready, my love?” Akaashi nodded, his eyes in daze as he panted below his husband.

Bokuto added some more lube onto himself, giving his member a few pumps before entering Akaashi. He started slow, remembering the angle that got Akaashi especially riled up.

As if on cue, Akaashi let out a gasp as he gripped the sheets underneath him, eyes snapping to attention. “I see you’ve remembered some things.”

Bokuto smirked as he slowly bottomed out inside Akaashi. “I remember everything, Keiji,” he growled as he slapped the inside of Akaashi’s thigh and started pulling out.

Akaashi let out a gasp before his eyes rolled to the back of his head. “Again,” he demanded.

Bokuto stopped his movements. “What was that?”

Akaashi’s breathe caught in his throat. He let out a small whimper as he looked into Bokuto’s eyes. He was biting his lip and he tentatively said, “Please, do that again.”

Bokuto’s smirk turned into a full grin. “Good boy.” He smacked the other thigh, harder this time. “Don’t forget your manners again,” he said as he thrust into Akaashi. He let out a loud, throaty groan as Bokuto began picking up the pace. Bokuto marveled at Akaashi’s body beneath him. Bokuto was a professional athlete, but Akaashi still kept good care of his body. He had to if he wanted to keep up with Bokuto’s stamina.

“Look at you. Do you know how beautiful you look right now? The gods molded you by hand and I’m the only one who gets to see you just like this, so breathtaking and needy. Your skin looks so stunning when it’s blushing bright red like this.”

Bokuto’s words only made Akaashi get harder, and Bokuto knew exactly what kind of affect his words had on him. He wrapped his arm around Akaashi’s waist, pulling them closer to each other as he leaned down. Bokuto rasped into Akaashi’s ear, “I could come just from watching you unfold like this.”

Akaashi tried replying to Bokuto, but he was having a hard time concentrating. Bokuto knew what he needed. He gently placed him back onto the bed and reached between them to stroke Akaashi.

“I’ve got you, Keiji. Come for me when you’re ready.”

At those words, Akaashi finished and Bokuto followed soon after. They stayed together, catching their breath for a second, before Bokuto slowly pulled out of his husband. He immediately began placing light kisses over his face.

“Don’t move, my love.”

Akaashi’s mind clearly started coming back because he let out a small snort. “I couldn’t if I tried, Kou,” he said as he looked at Bokuto lovingly.

Bokuto smiled and got up to get a washcloth. He came back and diligently cleaned Akaashi up, whispering small praises to him. They knew they could both keep going, but they agreed that could wait for another time with Akaashi promising to fully return the favor in kind. Right now they just wanted to be close to each other. When Bokuto was done, he moved Akaashi under the covers with him. Facing one another, he wrapped his arms around his husband and Akaashi snuggled into Bokuto’s chest.

“My world, I love you so much.”

“And I love you, my star.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! I hope all of you have enjoyed this journey with me. This is one of my top favorite ships and it's been a joy to write for them. If you want to yell with me about anime, follow me on Twitter [CoolDadV!](https://www.twitter.com/CoolDadV) Otherwise, thank you for reading!!


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